Completely Unrelated.

So...I'm going to be honest.
I miss my TMI with Panda blog sometimes. I really do.
So, today, you're going to get a little bit of a taste of what used to be, if you never were a reader, and a good ol' dose of SAFETY SUNDAY Nostalgia if you did.

Okay, another confession here. I spend a lot of time on Condom Depot, particularly on their list of the "World's Top 10 Best Condoms" list. I can't exactly tell you how I ended up on this site (probably some desperate googling after a terrible terrible incident involving unlubricated Trojans and killed boners) but it's been the place I've purchased every condom I haven't gotten for free ever since.
Today I was on there ordering, well, um....something other than the Trojan Magnums currently glinting threateningly from my drawer.
AND I was thinking.
Scene: you go home with a guy. He busts open his condom stash and you can't help but take a peek. You can't help but notice that he has _____'s. What do you think? What SHOULD you think? That is where I, and my (slightly more experienced than I'd like to admit) opinion comes in.

(Note: I start the scenario this way because if you were taking a guy home with you, he doesn't give a flying shit what kind of condoms you bust out as long as there aren't holes in them)

Unlubricated- Unless your homeboy busts out a quality bottle of lube with these, it generally means he was so embarrassed the condom display was in plain view of the pharmacy that he grabbed the first box he saw and ran his little legs as fast as he could to the self-checkout lane. When trying to shove his halfie in your  mostly dry hoo-hah (dude who buys these is probably ix-nay on the fore-play), he'll say "But they're Trojans, they have to be good, right?" Probably actually more likely to pinch the tip like he's supposed to because he's more likely to have read the directions when he got them.

Extended Pleasure Condoms- Well...at least he's honest with himself, and you. that's good. In case you don't know, these are condoms designed with a slight desensitizing lube on the penis side to help the man last longer. A.K.A. Minute-man, two-pump-chump, a guy who can't afford meds for his ED. Honestly? Probably a really sensitive guy. Wants to last longer for the girls he's with. Pretty decent choice for a one-night stand. (And you were expecting me to make fun of these guys...shame on you.)

TROJAN MAGNUMS (any type)- There are two routes you could be going down here. Either it's the guy who THINKS he needs XL condoms, in which case the condom will most likely slip and you will get jizz in you and that's just never a good thing...y'know? Or he's an actually very gifted guy who just hasn't been informed that there ARE other options for the big boys! Rejoice and then inform.

Her pleasure / Ribbed / Studded / anything like that- The natural first instinct here is to think this guy is very nice and very sensitive. Why would he buy condoms for your pleasure if he wasn't?
Well, I'm going to tell you. Because it is a lie. JUST LIKE THE CAKE.
A) He has a girlfriend, who he bought them for.
B) He has an ex-girlfriend whom he bought them for and hasn't replenished his condom stash yet, which if it was recent means you're a rebound, and if it wasn't recent means the condoms are old and could break.
C) He really, really, really wants you to think he's a nice, sensitive guy, which naturally means he's probably a huge tool once you get to know him.
D) They came in that gigantic "Party/Pleasure Pak" he bought and these were the only ones left. (a.k.a they're old or he's a huge man whore)

Anything on this list- Lucky Girl! He's done his research.. Probably knows how to use his weapons for good, if ya know what I mean. Nudge Nudge.

And, well. I'm out.
Still have the flu, but it's much better! Should be back to my 30 day challenge momentarily.
Manda

Flu

I am so high off Codine syrup I can't even comprehend what's going on right now let alone write a blog post. So I'm going to do something that I hate doing when I'm not sick-
put away clothes.
so they're not on my floor

yeahhhhhh
manda

30-Day Blog Challenge (Day 15)

Dream house?
I have links for that!
Because I'm posting it late and I'm sure you all don't read my long rambly posts anyways.

http://www.theboredninja.com/pictures/bedroom-waterslide/
http://blog.shelfari.com/my_weblog/2009/09/neil.html
http://www.popularmechanics.com/home/improvement/interior/4282305
http://www.travelet.com/2009/07/one-pair-bought-and-converted-church-into-home-in-kyloe-northumberland/ <----(Only problem here is the idea of fucking in a church. my Christian upbringing screams against that) (haha screams.) (Yes, I am secretly a 5 year old)
http://www.sfgirlbybay.com/2011/01/18/stairway-to-heaven/

Stuff like that.
Manda

30-Day Blog Challenge (Day 14)

II Kings 2:23-24

"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!”  He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys."


Yep. I could have done something inspirational and beautiful, because goodness knows that the Bible as a work has enough of those. Unfortunately, a lot of the people who like to push their religion on people and tell them they're going to hell? Yeah. That's all of the Bible they've read.
So me? I chose the angry and slightly terrifying part.
Yay!

Taloodles
Manda

30-Day Blog Challenge (Day 13)

Asking me how I've changed is a big question...there's a lot of factors.  I'm not dating the guy in the above picture anymore. In fact, I'm finally completely over him for the first time in about a year. For a long time I was so hung up on him I could barely function...he not only broke my heart, he broke me. I had a string of one night (or many-night, in two cases) stands that were, if not regrettable, than at least unadvised. Finally, one of them (who is also one of my very, very good friends) gave me some advice that I took to heart and finally started healing. He's the one that told me that AG had broken me, that I'd lost that sparkle, that I'd lost the confidence and the very self-love that had made him have a crush on me way back when he first met me. That I needed to get that back and learn to love myself again
I did. I mean, yes, it took me some time. It didn't happen over night, but it did happen a whole hell of a lot quicker than I thought it would (about three weeks).
And as soon as that happened, I met Ch. (You know the start of that story.)
I was afraid to be happy again. He said he'd wait. We started dating February 26th. Now I'm happy again, and though I can't say it's the happiest I've ever been, it's getting there. And I'm starting to think that's the healthier way to go about things. Him and I have spent every moment since we've met taking out time to build something and I feel more comfortable with him than I ever did with AG.
Well, I mean...there was always this feeling with AG that I wanted to be with him more than he wanted to be with me after a while. With Ch? Never.

Then there's less personal things. I've made a much more firm plan for my future and I'm going to do my best to keep them that way and not let anything or anyone get in my way- especially myself. I'm not willing to give up my life for a guy anymore- the idea of marriage or kids before I achieve the things I'm not going to be able to do pregnant or shackled down.
I care about my boyfriend dearly, but if the time comes? He's going to have to figure out whether I mean enough to him to follow me wherever I go. We'll see.

And I guess that's what's changed.
Manderr

30-Day Blog Challenge (Day 12)

Goals.
Goals=Dreams
Well...
Goals=Realisitc Dreams. (For instance that dream I had the other night about giving birth to hedgehogs)

1) Become a Zookeeper at Brookfield Zoo.
2) Preferably with giraffes, but elephants are pretty awesome too.
3) Live in London for a year
4) Study mammal migration during the rainy season in Africa.
5) Pop out a couple of well-adjusted but preferably not normal children with a husband who won't give me a storybook life, but will give me one that someone would like to write a novel about.
6) Preferably that novel will have a happy ending for everyone involved, but I'm perfectly aware life doesn't work that way (usually).
7) Really live my life before I settle in to the last two goals.


Taloodles
Manda

30-Day Blog Challenge (Day 11)

So, today is supposed to be about something I don't leave the house without.
That's kind of lame, no? I don't really have an interesting answer to that...I mean, there's my keys so I don't get locked out, my wallet for buying things and the odd chance that I am murdered so they can identify my body, my cell phone, but who DOES leave the house without these things anymore?

I mean, I suppose I don't leave the house without my boobs. But those are attached to me and that's no fair. And all those insubstantial things? "I don't leave the house without my self confidence, I don't leave the house without a smile, I don't leave the house without making sure I'm ready for the day."
I do that shit ALL THE TIME. So what can I tell you?

I don't leave the house without checking the weather, that's a good one. I don't leave the house without waking up. I don't leave the house without texting my boyfriend first, letting him know I'm up and he's actually going to get responses if he sexts me now (ay-oh!).

This post is awful, I'm sorry.
Manderrrr