Completely Unrelated.

So...I'm going to be honest.
I miss my TMI with Panda blog sometimes. I really do.
So, today, you're going to get a little bit of a taste of what used to be, if you never were a reader, and a good ol' dose of SAFETY SUNDAY Nostalgia if you did.

Okay, another confession here. I spend a lot of time on Condom Depot, particularly on their list of the "World's Top 10 Best Condoms" list. I can't exactly tell you how I ended up on this site (probably some desperate googling after a terrible terrible incident involving unlubricated Trojans and killed boners) but it's been the place I've purchased every condom I haven't gotten for free ever since.
Today I was on there ordering, well, um....something other than the Trojan Magnums currently glinting threateningly from my drawer.
AND I was thinking.
Scene: you go home with a guy. He busts open his condom stash and you can't help but take a peek. You can't help but notice that he has _____'s. What do you think? What SHOULD you think? That is where I, and my (slightly more experienced than I'd like to admit) opinion comes in.

(Note: I start the scenario this way because if you were taking a guy home with you, he doesn't give a flying shit what kind of condoms you bust out as long as there aren't holes in them)

Unlubricated- Unless your homeboy busts out a quality bottle of lube with these, it generally means he was so embarrassed the condom display was in plain view of the pharmacy that he grabbed the first box he saw and ran his little legs as fast as he could to the self-checkout lane. When trying to shove his halfie in your  mostly dry hoo-hah (dude who buys these is probably ix-nay on the fore-play), he'll say "But they're Trojans, they have to be good, right?" Probably actually more likely to pinch the tip like he's supposed to because he's more likely to have read the directions when he got them.

Extended Pleasure Condoms- Well...at least he's honest with himself, and you. that's good. In case you don't know, these are condoms designed with a slight desensitizing lube on the penis side to help the man last longer. A.K.A. Minute-man, two-pump-chump, a guy who can't afford meds for his ED. Honestly? Probably a really sensitive guy. Wants to last longer for the girls he's with. Pretty decent choice for a one-night stand. (And you were expecting me to make fun of these guys...shame on you.)

TROJAN MAGNUMS (any type)- There are two routes you could be going down here. Either it's the guy who THINKS he needs XL condoms, in which case the condom will most likely slip and you will get jizz in you and that's just never a good thing...y'know? Or he's an actually very gifted guy who just hasn't been informed that there ARE other options for the big boys! Rejoice and then inform.

Her pleasure / Ribbed / Studded / anything like that- The natural first instinct here is to think this guy is very nice and very sensitive. Why would he buy condoms for your pleasure if he wasn't?
Well, I'm going to tell you. Because it is a lie. JUST LIKE THE CAKE.
A) He has a girlfriend, who he bought them for.
B) He has an ex-girlfriend whom he bought them for and hasn't replenished his condom stash yet, which if it was recent means you're a rebound, and if it wasn't recent means the condoms are old and could break.
C) He really, really, really wants you to think he's a nice, sensitive guy, which naturally means he's probably a huge tool once you get to know him.
D) They came in that gigantic "Party/Pleasure Pak" he bought and these were the only ones left. (a.k.a they're old or he's a huge man whore)

Anything on this list- Lucky Girl! He's done his research.. Probably knows how to use his weapons for good, if ya know what I mean. Nudge Nudge.

And, well. I'm out.
Still have the flu, but it's much better! Should be back to my 30 day challenge momentarily.
Manda